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Frequently, what has happened to us cannot be changed, such as when someone we love dies, a tragic accident occurs or we have learned we have a terrible illness. When these experiences descend upon us, we feel emotionally frozen.

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We find ourselves stuck in a state of despair and pain. At these times, talking can help. There is a word that captures how talking helps—catharsis. Talking le to a catharsis, which means a feeling of relief. The charged feelings within us become less charged.

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Nothing has changed that caused the suffering in our nneed, but talking has drained off some of the pain and this brings relief. I did nothing but listen. Listening gives people an neev to tell their story, and, in the telling, they find relief and a quieting of their emotions. I have many stories of how people benefit from talking, but the story that follows is one I will never forget.

Years ago, a woman in her late 40s arrived in my office.

She related that after a prolonged illness with cancer, her year-old son died. I could see the despair and grief she was feeling.

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For the next two months, this mother arrived for her appointment someohe week. She started her story with her pregnancy and took me a step at a time through the life of her son.

I listened. My eyes were focused on her and her feelings became my feelings. At times I smiled with her and at times my eyes, like her eyes, were filled with tears. When our last session ended, she stood up, grabbed my hand and thanked me for helping her. She was so appreciative.